


December 1st: I Can't Do This

by NimueOfTheNorth



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Breakup (mentioned), Christmas Fluff, M/M, Recovered_ProfilersForChristmas2017, Rescuing Christmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-08 22:56:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12874818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NimueOfTheNorth/pseuds/NimueOfTheNorth
Summary: Everybody thought Spencer had someone to celebrate Christmas with, but that fell apart. Now Aaron does his best to rescue Spencer's Christmas. It might end better than either of them could have hoped.





	December 1st: I Can't Do This

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [FA_ProfilersForChristmas2017](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/FA_ProfilersForChristmas2017) collection. 



> Welcome to the second round of our Criminal Minds themed, prompt based advent calendar!
> 
> Can you believe it is this time of the year again already?
> 
> From today on right through to the 24th, a bunch of us will again present you with one short little story about and around Christmas every day. Knowing the authors participating (both returning and new), I'm sure there will be fluff, smut and angst, but everybody promised to honour the happy endings rule, so lets hope for the best.  
> Stories will be posted anonymously and the authors' names revealed on the 25th.  
> If you'd like to keep track of all the stories, I hope everybody remembers to add the tag ProfilersForChristmas2017, so that might be the easiest way.
> 
> Whatever you're celebrating, I hope you have a wonderful festive season with your loved ones.
> 
> Enjoy the stories!

Aaron frowned as the doors of the elevator opened to their floor and he could see a light in their bullpen.

It was Christmas Eve and nobody should be here. He shouldn’t even be here.

He wouldn’t be if he hadn’t forgotten the paperwork for the end of the year calculations he needed to finish up. He figured it was better to pick them up now and do the work at home while Jack was asleep or entertaining himself than have to go into the office for a whole day during his week off.

Jack was ensconced on the couch at home with a Christmas movie. Aaron was still getting used to the idea that his son was old enough to be left alone for short stretches of time. It didn’t sit right with his need to protect him from the world but he also understood that Jack needed these little steps to independence.

Pushing open the glass doors he found Reid at his desk reading through a file. Judging by the stacks on both sides, he’d been at it a while and planned to stay quite a bit longer yet.

“Reid?” Hotch asked quietly, not wanting to startle the man. He had learned over the years how differently Reid reacted to interruptions when he knew he was surrounded by people compared to when he assumed he was alone. The confusion with which Reid looked up told Aaron he’d been right about his headspace. 

“What are you doing here tonight? I thought you had plans and were looking forward to celebrating Christmas with your new significant other this year.”

The way Reid deflated in his seat promised nothing good and almost made Aaron regret his words. He pulled a chair over from another desk and settled in halfway across from his friend. “You wanna tell me what happened?”

Reid stayed quiet for a while but Aaron wouldn’t push, just wait him out until he told him in his own time.

“He broke up with me.” Reid glanced up at Hotch through his fringe only after he’d said that.

Aaron kept his face neutral and open. The only thing that surprised him was that Reid had come out and said it so directly, after skirting all question for details of his love life for months.

“His timing could have certainly been better. A break up for Christmas seems unnecessarily cruel,” Aaron said.

“It was a few weeks ago.”

“Oh.” He was equal parts surprised and ashamed that he hadn’t noticed. They had a stressful time with cases leading up to the holidays but not noticing that Reid had been left by his boyfriend was no small thing. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Everybody was so relieved that I finally had someone to celebrate Christmas with and that I was actually looking forward to it. I just didn’t want to deal with their disappointment on my behalf. And the pity would have been even worse.”

Aaron couldn’t argue the point. Garcia, JJ and Morgan would have all forced their own brands of mother-henning on Reid, disregarding his wishes. Aaron himself felt sorry for him and hated the thought of him spending Christmas at the office but he’d tread carefully. 

“Did he give you any particular reason or were things just not working out?” 

“I think we were both enjoying our time together, but we weren’t each other’s one true love or anything like that. It was still nice to have something so… normal for once. But there were… complications.”

“Spencer, you don’t have to tell me, but I’m more than happy to listen if you’d like to talk about it.”

Reid had looked up slightly surprised at the use of his first name. It wasn’t something Aaron did a lot but this was hardly a conversation between boss and subordinate, it was a conversation between friends. At least he hoped it was. Between the reserved persona he displayed as unit chief and how much he cared for the younger man, he sometimes wasn’t sure how he came across and where they stood on a personal level.

Meanwhile, Reid looked at him like he had his own puzzle about this situation to figure out. When he eventually came to a decision and broke their eye contact to reach for his mug - that seemed to hold tea rather than the usual coffee - Aaron felt like he’d been found worthy of something precious.

Spencer took a sip before he started to tell his story.

“He’s a LEO, actually one of Will’s colleagues, that’s how we met. He’s the new guy in the precinct and Will, being his usual friendly self, invited him to his birthday party just to include him. He’s not out, never dared to. And with the kind of stories that still go around about what happens to LGBT people on the force, I can’t say I blame him. Will knows now, he knows me too well not to figure it out, but he would never say anything.

“Anyway, I didn’t mind keeping things private. I wouldn’t have minded more openness but I didn’t have a problem with it. I understood his reasons.”

He fell silent again and just stared into his tea.

“Something must have changed,” Aaron carefully prodded when he thought Spencer might have gotten lost in his head.

“Christmas came up, that changed.” There was a bitterness below the forcefully neutral tone that stung Aaron. That wasn’t the kind of feeling anyone should attach to Christmas.

Letting out a deep breath, Spencer continued. “We had plans to spend Christmas Eve together at my place and then visit his parents out of town for the huge family lunch they have every Christmas Day. He wanted to come out, if not at work then at least to his family. I never asked that of him and I never would. 

“I don’t know if he thought it might be easier if he brought a boyfriend along as a buffer of sorts. I just hope he didn’t think he owed it to me somehow. Every time he talked about it he seemed nervous but determined and I didn’t really know what else to do but be supportive of whatever he wanted.

“Then, about three weeks ago, he called and asked me to meet him for lunch in a cafe.” He snorted without any real humour. “When he arrived, he couldn’t meet my eyes. What it boiled down to was an _I can’t do this_ explanation for a breakup. At first, I thought or I hoped that he just meant the coming out at Christmas. _That_ I could have handled easily. But he meant it all, our whole relationship, being with someone in secret. I’m honestly not convinced that he will ever allow himself to be with a man again. No idea what freaked him out like that. I was tempted to ask Will if something happened at work but figured it wouldn’t change anything.”

“It’s still normal to want to know the reason for why you are being hurt. But I can see your point.” Aaron wished Spencer had had someone to talk about this but feared he had dealt with it alone.

“Thanks, Hotch. And thanks for just letting me talk. I appreciate it.”

“Anytime, Spencer.” He let his eyes drift over the stacks of files Spencer had chosen for company. “Come on, now. Pack this all up. I’ll just grab the paperwork I need and then we’re getting out of here.”

“What? Where…? I don’t understand.”

“I can’t let you spend Christmas at work surrounded by the horribleness of serial killers. That would destroy my festive mood and in turn Jack’s. So I’m taking you home with me and we’ll see if we can’t rescue this Christmas.”

“I can’t ask this of you, Hotch. I don’t want to impose.”

“You’re neither asking nor imposing. One advantage of moving into a house is that I now have a guest room. I’d like for you to celebrate Christmas with us and Jack would be delighted. Please, Spencer, it’s nothing special. Just a bit of family comfort. Besides, if I tell Jack that you were here and working, he’d show me the cold shoulder and ignore his presents if I didn’t do anything about it.”

Aaron could see the hesitation and protest in Spencer’s eyes but what he eventually said was, “Okay.”

He smiled happily in reaction to that and immediately got up before Spencer could come up with any more objections. “Good, let’s hurry and we might get a say in which Christmas movie to watch next.” He was almost at his office door when he heard Spencer behind him.

“I don’t have a go-bag with me.”

“Then we’ll just drive by your place so you can pack up some clothes. Comfortable things that you like wearing. We never dress up for Christmas Day.”

 

* * *

 

 

At Spencer’s place, Aaron came up to his apartment with him, not wanting to give him an easy way to get out of Christmas at the Hotchners.

In his living room, Spencer pointed towards a row of bags under the window. “The green one is for you guys. With how busy we’ve been, I haven’t even gotten around to giving everyone their presents. I had planned to drive around everyone’s places on Boxing Day and bring them by. I’ll, ehm, I’ll just go and pack a few things.”

He vanished into his bedroom and Aaron headed over to the window to grab the bag with what he knew would be gifts for him, Jack and Jessica.

In a corner, pushed halfway behind an armchair was a large box. Aaron would have dismissed it if not for something sparkly catching the light. Pulling the box out just a little, he found it full of obviously new tree ornaments bought for a tree that wouldn’t be set up.

Looking over his shoulder and making a split second decision, Aaron picked a few of the ornaments and pushed them deep into the bag with the gifts. Some smaller ones he could even fit into the large pockets of his coat.

By the time Spencer came out of his bedroom, Aaron was waiting by the door, gift bag firmly in hand. “Ready to go? Any favourite coffee you’d like to bring for tomorrow morning?”

“Well, if you don’t mind…”

Aaron just waved towards the kitchen. He wanted Spencer to enjoy his Christmas in all the little ways as much as he could help it.

 

* * *

 

 

By the time they made it to Aaron’s place, it was later than he’d thought and Jack was mostly asleep on the couch already. At least he had put his PJs on.

Aaron set the gift bag down where he hoped Spencer wouldn’t notice and picked Jack up. “I’ll just put him to bed. Make yourself comfortable.”

Heading for the stairs he thought he heard Jack murmur something like “Goodnight, Spencer,” but he couldn’t be sure.

When he arrived back downstairs, Spencer had taken off his shoes and was sitting in the corner of the couch a little awkwardly. Aaron became suddenly aware that he didn’t really have much of a plan what to do, now that Spencer was actually in his home. Just enjoying the picture certainly wouldn’t do.

“Would you like a glass of wine?”

“Yes, that would be nice. Red, please, if you have it.”

The wine poured, Aaron settled into the other corner of the couch and they both just sipped from their glasses in comfortable silence with Spencer looking around the room.

“I like your new place. It was already nice when you had your housewarming party but now it looks like a proper, lived in home, more comfortable, and a lot more like you and Jack. I like it.”

“Thanks. I’m glad we made the move. Jack loves having more space and the garden and I finally have a proper office.” He was interrupted by an epic yawn from Spencer that made him chuckle.

“Sorry, I haven’t slept well the last few nights.”

“Go on up. Guestroom is the first door on the left.”

“Thanks. Oh! What about the gifts?”

“I can put yours under the tree with all the others. Don’t worry about it. Get some sleep, Spencer.”

Aaron poured himself another glass of wine and read a chapter in his current book until he was certain that Spencer had really gone to bed. Then he got to work.

 

* * *

 

 

The first pot of coffee was barely done when Spencer shuffled down the stairs the next morning.

“Merry Christmas, Spencer! I expected you to sleep longer.”

“Hmmm.” The younger man dropped onto the bench in the breakfast nook. “Went to bed much earlier than I’m used to, so this was plenty of sleep for me. The smell of coffee woke me up.”

Aaron got the hint and put a large mug on the table in front of him.

“Thanks, Hotch. You really didn’t have to do this, any of it.”

“I wanted to. And you could call me Aaron, you know. We are celebrating Christmas together, after all.”

Spencer didn’t get an answer in because they were interrupted by a squeal from the living room.

They had barely gotten up when Jack appeared in the kitchen door. “Dad! There’s a Tardis in our tree! Spencer! You’re here! I didn’t dream you last night. Come looking, there’s a Tardis in our tree and it wasn’t there yesterday!” The excited boy dashed off again.

“What?” Spencer looked at Aaron with so much confusion that he wanted to laugh, but instead, he just waved him on towards the living room. 

Spencer stood still just a few feet into the room, staring dumbfounded at the transformed tree. It had been a colourful mixture of decorations before already, with traditional ornaments and decorations Jack had crafted at school. But now there was a decidedly nerdy touch to it. There was the Tardis Jack had mentioned and the narrow but super long version of the fourth Doctor’s scarf draped over a few branches like a garland. Further up was a delicate glass Enterprise, and a set of glittery molecule models mixed in between the baubles. He eventually moved up to the tree and set a branch to swing slightly and make Arwen’s pendant sparkle with the sunlight.

“Wow!” Jack appeared at his side. “This is so awesome! Now the tree is a mixture of all of us. It’s great! Merry Christmas!” He enthusiastically hugged Spencer around the middle and the young man hugged back reflexively.

His eyes found Aaron and he just mouthed a _Thank you_ at him, looking back at the tree again with suspiciously shiny eyes. Aaron let him, knowing that Jack’s desire to open presents would soon sweep them both up.

 

* * *

 

 

It had been a wonderful Christmas morning with paper strewn everywhere, waffles, and lots of coffee and laughter. The atmosphere was so relaxed that Aaron found himself sharing casual touches with Spencer, at first quite by accident but when the younger man didn’t pull back as usual, Aaron found more and more excuses.

Once they’d all managed to get dressed in something more than pyjamas and robes, Jack wanted to go outside to have a snowball fight and maybe build a snowman. Aaron was about to suggest something else to keep them in the warmth, knowing how easily Spencer got cold, but the genius surprised him.

“That sounds like fun! Can we do that?” His hazel eyes joined Jack’s in a puppy-worthy attempt at begging and Aaron knew that he had already lost.

“Sure we can. I’m surprised you’re so willing to get outside in this weather.”

“Moving around will help keep me warm and I didn’t exactly get the chance to play in the snow as a child. I think I’m missing something there.”

Bundled up and outside, Jack jumped straight into a heap of snow that had accumulated in one corner and yelled for Spencer to do the same. Aaron was fumbling for his phone, wanting to preserve the rare memory of a laughing Spencer sprawled in a heap of snow with his son in a picture.

“Let’s build a snowman first!” Jack decided and put them both to work, Spencer to help shape the snow and Aaron to fetch the accessories.

Posing with the result of their efforts made for many more fun pictures.

“I love Christmas with Spencer!” Jack declared emphatically. “Can we do this again next year?”

“We’ll have to see how everybody’s plans work out, Jack. But Spencer is always welcome.” Aaron made sure to find Spencer’s eyes during the last part and convey how much he meant it.

Spencer smiled back at him, still a little shy but undoubtedly happy. The moment was broken when the first snowball hit Aaron against the side of the face. After the first shock, Spencer almost toppled over with laughter that barely lessened when he got his own splash of cold wetness against the neck.

Aaron couldn’t have told how long the following fight lasted but by the end, they were all wet, out of breath, and smiling.

Suddenly, Jack pointed up from where he was sitting in the snow. “You have to kiss!”

“What?!” Spencer sounded shocked whereas Aaron was mostly puzzled where his son had gotten that idea from.

“You’re under a mistletoe, you have to kiss!”

And sure enough, above them in the tree was a cluster of mistletoes. There was a violent spark of hope and joy somewhere in Aaron’s chest at the prospect of getting to kiss Spencer. Until he looked down again and saw the deer in the headlights look of panic on his face.

“That only applies to mistletoes that were put up as decorations somewhere, Jack, not the ones growing outside,” he tried to come up with an excuse to spare Spencer a likely unwelcome kiss. And himself the experience of having his gesture so ill received.

“Are you sure? Because I don’t think you should risk bad luck for the whole next year,” Jack tried to make his case.

Spencer grabbed Aaron’s forearm before he could reply to that. “I think Jack is right. Traditions should be honoured and we can’t afford bad luck in our line of work.”

Aaron was about to argue further if he hadn’t spotted a glimmer of hope behind Spencer’s insecurity.

He leaned slowly forward, giving Spencer all the time to pull away, aiming to press a chaste kiss against his cheek.

Spencer moved at the last moment. 

But not to pull away.

He turned his face towards Aaron, making their lips meet. Aaron had feared that he would pull away immediately but instead, he let his eyes drop close and hummed in contentment.

Aaron closed his own eyes and pressed against the soft lips a little more firmly. He let the kiss linger for as long as he dared. Any longer and he wouldn’t have been able to keep it chaste.

When he finally broke the contact and opened his eyes, Spencer didn’t look at all like he wanted to run.

“I think,” the genius said with a thoughtful smile, “that there’s a pretty good chance our Christmas plans for next year will align themselves.”

“I was rather hoping I wouldn’t have to wait a whole year.”

A squeal reminded him that Jack had watched the whole scene and the next second they both had a short arm wrapped around their waists. Jack squeezed them for a long moment, clearly lost for words. When he looked up, it was to ask, “Can we go inside and have hot chocolate? With marshmallows?”

And that’s how they spent their afternoon, with steaming mugs of hot sweetness, snuggled on the couch. But now, Spencer wasn’t at the opposite corner but snuggled into Aaron’s side.

Spencer let out a content sigh. “I might yet get the hang of this Christmas thing.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt:**
> 
>  
> 
> Someone is in a relationship and their significant breaks up with them right before Christmas. They don’t tell the team, but someone finds out and does their best to give them a great holiday.
> 
> Bonus for it ending up Hotch/Reid. 
> 
> Extra bonus points for happy/smutty ending.


End file.
